Therapy Advice That Can Improve Your Relationships And Daily Life
Therapy is always a scary thing to start for most people. They have to open up to trust a stranger with all their problems, open up to someone new, and hope that their therapist is the right one for them. I started my therapy journey last July, and although I was hesitant, it has turned out to be one of the best decisions I have made. If you want to skip seeing someone and just want the advice of a therapist, look no further!
1. Do not force relationships
We are still in a pandemic and still separated from a lot of people. We all miss that human connection. Although we are clawing for a new relationship, it is always good to take a step back and ask yourself what the new person truly wants.
After receiving this advice, I no longer try and keep relationships afloat if it seems like they will not last. I have to remind myself that the people who truly want to be in my life will stay, and I also have to reflect on who I want in my life and if it is beneficial to both of us.
2. Opening up to people is scary, but it is necessary
Imagine opening a door slowly but surely. When doing this, you are letting very little out at a time and before you know it, you have ended up sharing a lot. Vulnerability is scary just for the simple fact of you never know what is going to happen with the other person. If you share and then the person leaves, you might feel like you did something wrong, but that is not the case.
As you share only what you want at a certain time, it leaves you in control of the situation and allows you to feel good about what is happening. It is up to you what you share and when, but never feel like you are being forced to tell someone something personal.
I still personally struggle with this point. It is all about the trust aspect regarding this. Of course, the trust can be tested if the person stays when little, minor things of life are revealed. If they stay through those, then it lets me know that they can be trusted with other, maybe major, topics.
3. If you feel like isolating, send at least one person just one small text
Isolating from everyone when your mental health goes south always feels like a good option only if you willingly decide to isolate. You get to avoid everyone and everything and just focus on yourself. Talking to people always feels like a chore, and it just sucks because you feel like you let everyone down.
My therapist has told me this so much, and now it is stuck in my head and I hear her voice all the time. I am no longer able to isolate myself in peace without thinking that I need to reach out to someone. By doing this, it allows me to come out of a bad place mentally and think about something else for a few hours. I do have a group of people who understand how I am feeling, and are always willing to do a 10 or 20 minute FaceTime call with me.
4. Anxiety sucks, but think about the good things that can happen too
One good thing that has stuck with me is to challenge your negative intrusive thoughts with good ones. If you are anxious about a presentation or a meeting, just tell yourself all the fun things you have planned after that presentation or meeting. Allow yourself to know that the event will not last forever, and more chances than not, it is going to run smoothly and nothing will go wrong.
I have talked to my therapist about this mentality. I have made sure to keep this thought process as the pandemic still goes on, and I have to tell myself good things are still happening.
5. People who love you are always there
It is so common to feel alone and have your brain tell you that no one cares for you. The brain is so tough because it will play tricks on you and tell you things that are not true. If you ever feel like this and have that voice in your head, try to list out all the people who are always there for you and make you feel good.
These have to be mutual friendships and ones where both parties give and receive. No one-sided relationships are allowed to be included in this. Do know that there are always people you can reach out to at any time. You are never an inconvenience.
My mind often plays tricks on me and makes me think that people do not care for me. Because of this, I have a list of names on my phone and it is all the people who love and care for me. Whenever I need a reminder, I just pull up the notes app and look at that note, and it brings me back to reality and lets me know that I am never by myself in this world; I have people who will always support and care for me.
6. Try to sit outside for 30 minutes
Now I know you might be tired of hearing this advice, but I promise that it actually does help, especially since now the weather is nice and it gets darker later than normal.
There are so many beautiful things to observe outside, and the sunshine on your skin is always something that is enjoyable. It is one of the reasons worth living. With everything blooming and all the pretty colors back, it should help how you feel mentally and it is a nice recharge.
Personally, going outside and sitting underneath a tree or in the grass without my cellphone helps boost my mood a lot. As cheesy as it sounds, I feel one with nature and it really is relaxing. It helps bring me back to where I am in the present moment, and whenever I am outside I usually focus on things around me such as the insects, birds, stars, or anything else that is out there when I am.
7. If you are unable to go outside, light up all the lights in your room and turn on happy music
There are so many playlists out on Spotify and Apple Music or whatever music streaming platform you use that already have a bunch of feel-good songs in a playlist. Turning one of these playlists on and turning it all the way up can trick you into forgetting all about what you are feeling and make you want to get up and dance.
Light is also good for the soul as we know from sitting outside in the sunlight, but if there is no sun, then turning on all the lights you possibly can help. It lets you see that there is light around you, and it brightens up not only the space you occupy but your mood as well.
I always love to have my blinds and curtains open. It brings in natural light and instantly boosts my mood. I also always have the overhead light on or a small lamp. I know it says to use happy music, but I can feel just as content when I listen to slow, sad songs. I can easily bounce around between slow songs and upbeat ones, and I will still feel the same. Music and light definitely speak to the soul and can always improve one's mood.
8. Try to meditate and get into a rhythm
Meditation is one of the keys to framing intrusive thoughts. There are plenty of guided meditation apps on the app store. The app MyLife is my personal favorite, and they have different timers so you can meditate however long you want.
While doing guided meditations after a certain period of time, you should be able to start to feel as though you can meditate on your own without any guides. It will take some time, but this also does help boost your mental health and lets you reflect at the moment on what you are thinking and feeling.
Back in high school, I used to meditate every day when I came home. It did improve my mood a lot, and I was less irritable and snappy with those around me. I did get away from doing that as it just fell out of my routine, but every now and again I do a guided meditation through the MyLife app.
The best thing about the app is that it asks for how I am feeling and will give me a meditation specifically for that. After each meditation session I do, I notice that I always feel light and so much better overall. I always love falling back on this, and I always recommend it to my friends.
9. A little self-care is needed every now and then
If you work so much and never take time for yourself, or constantly help other people without helping yourself, you will be burnt out and further isolate yourself. Take a day or two just for yourself. Pamper yourself or do something you genuinely enjoy.
Make a dish you really like or watch your favorite show. You can always exercise by going out for a walk, running, lifting weights, practicing yoga, or whatever that might look like for you. Just know that you too deserve good things in life and need to prioritize yourself more.
Self-care can be a very basic term, but there are so many things to do. My personal favorites are turning on my favorite music, putting on a facemask, moving my body in some way, and painting my nails. All of these activities help me focus on the present and allow me to feel my most authentic self.
10. Prioritize your mental health before anything else
Your mental health means so much more than you could possibly imagine. It is so important to take care of it to the best you can and to tend to yourself when needed. Mental health can be challenging some days when it feels like the world is ending, but just know so many people care about you and want to see you succeed.
While I am still working on these 10 tips, I sometimes have trouble allowing myself to do as I was told. Other times, when I do allow the advice to sink in, it really does help. I have been able to tell a difference in my own life and with the relationships, I have with others.
The people in my life love seeing that I am trying, as well as, changing for the better. I always say I do not want to go to therapy, but once I leave from a session, I feel so much better about everything I am experiencing. As my therapist has said, it is nice to leave your own head for an hour.
I want you to internalize this advice and let it work for you. It will take time to open up to this idea considering it can feel uncomfortable, but welcome that uncomfortable feeling! It means change is coming and everything will be good!