Stop Domestic Violence

If anyone has watched the news, then you have heard that the body of twenty-two-year-old Gabby Petito was found on September 19th. Petito, who had been missing since September 11th, was a social media influencer who seemed to have it all. She was pretty, confident, and outgoing. Sadly, her only mistake was loving the wrong man.

Video footage from a police bodycam shows Petito in tears. When asked why she was crying, she immediately claimed she was under a lot of stress because of quitting her job for this trip. Further on in the video, Petito says she scratched her fiance Brian Laundrie after the two got in a fight.

The investigation has since revealed that a pedestrian made a nine-one-one call to police, saying they saw a man matching Laundrie assaulting a woman that looked like Petito.

The Petito case as tragic as it is; is not the first, nor will it be the last of a relationship gone wrong. Domestic Violence is more common than people would like to think. Statics from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, states that 1 in 4 women, and 1 in 9 men, will be victims of physical violence from their significant other.

To be honest, I would not be surprised if later on in the investigation it is revealed that Laundrie has a history of abusing his girlfriends, as it’s doubtful Petito is his first victim.

History of Domestic Violence in the United States.

The history of domestic violence can be traced back long before the founding of the United States. Beating one’s wife was considered socially acceptable by the roman leader Romulus in 753BC, as long as the rod or stick was the size of the man’s thumb, hence where the term rule of thumb comes from.

The Catholic church also encouraged practices of wife-beating in concern for spiritual well-being. Moving on to the United States, the first laws against domestic abuse were issued by Alabama and Massachusetts in 1871, making it illegal in those states to beat your wife. Not that those laws did much to stop abuse, of course.

Domestic violence was not a federal crime in the United States until 1994 when Congress passed the Violence Against Women’s Act. Congress later added to that law by altering the gun control act, prohibiting abusers from owning firearms.

Before such laws were passed, however, domestic cases were not taken seriously by law enforcement. The police would often take the husband out for a walk to cool off and tell the wife to stop bothering him. Nowadays, law enforcement takes these cases seriously and are trained on how to deal with the situation.

Who is most at risk of becoming a victim of Domestic Violence? 

Anyone can be a victim of abuse if the circumstances are right; however, there are people who are more susceptible than others. Statistics from Domestic Shelters.com states that the most common age for domestic violence to first occur is 18-24 years of age, the second being 11-17 years of age.

If that doesn’t alarm you, I don’t know what will.

Movies like “No One Would Tell,” starring Candace Cameron and Fred Savage, and “Reviving Ophelia, starring Jane Kaczmarek, and Kim Dickens serve as a warning to parents that teens aren’t exempt from being abused or being an abuser.

Signs of Abuse to Watch Out For. 

1. Being Afraid of Your Partner.

If you fear your significant other, then maybe it’s time to consider getting out of the relationship. If you need to get out but don’t have a way, there are domestic abuse hotlines that can help you.

2. Your Partner Bullies You.

If your significant other makes you feel bad about yourself or constantly puts you down, this is a warning sign that you shouldn’t ignore. In a healthy relationship, partners are supposed to lift each other up, not make you feel worthless.

3. Isolates You from Family and Friends.

A warning sign to watch out in a relationship is how your significant other acts around your family and friends. If they immediately take a dislike to your family and friends, take that as a sign that they might be trying to cut you off from your support system.

4. Hits You.

If your boyfriend or girlfriend hits you, then you need to run as fast as your legs can carry you. Remember, it’s never okay for another person to put their hands on you. Also, if they immediately say sorry afterward and promise that it will never happen again, DON’T BELIEVE THEM!

Abusers will always apologize and promise never to do it again until it does. In most domestic violence situations, the abuser often tries to put the blame on the victim. If you’re a victim of domestic violence, please remember that you are not at fault and the abuser is in charge of their own behavior.

5. Keeps Money From You.

Abusers will often keep money from their victims as another way of keeping them isolated. If they don’t have access to funds, it makes it harder for them to leave.

Help is Out There.

If you're in a situation, you can't get out of on your own, there are resources available that can help. 

The number for the Domestic Abuse Hotline is.

1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY).