What Is Neglectful Parenting?

It comes as no surprise that there are different styles of parenting, so what is yours? Entering parenthood and knowing exactly how to raise a child is a challenge for old and new parents. Now finding your style and evolving through the process will always be a process but it is necessary. Neglectful parents usually come from dysfunctional families with mental problems and other issues.

"Children have more need of models than of critics."

-Carolyn Coats

Parenting styles are placed in four categories:

o   Authoritarian

The strictest style of parenting. A strict standard of conduct from the parent’s belief by the attitude of the parent. 

o   Authoritative

A commanding presence and deep voice of parents give an impression to be obeyed.

o   Permissive

The opposite of being strict. These parents let their kids stay up late and do whatever they want – they are a little more lenient with the rules. 

o   Uninvolved

Parents that don’t respond to their child’s needs or desires beyond the shelter, clothing, and food. This carries more negative effects the child will pick up.

Uninvolved Parents and What It Is

Among the list, uninvolved parenting is the most interesting style because it involves a lot less handholding, and love compared to the other styles where the parent gives more time and attention. Involvement parenting oftentimes leaves the kids to raise themselves in situations they never asked for or wanted. They are innocent by nature and have no knowledge of the world, that’s where the parent comes in to teach them how the world works. But if the parent is not there to guide the child, they must learn to make decisions – big and small – on their own to get by, or else they will face worse consequences.  

It’s a controversial style with many questions to be asked, with some harsh judgments to the parents who clearly know better. If you know an uninvolved parent, or you’re one yourself, the fact is this style isn’t always intentional – some people are not meant to be parents at all for many reasons. The bigger question is why some people bother becoming parents if they are going to do a bad job at it. The reasons as to why people have kids don’t have to make sense, it just happens because that’s life, and life is an adventure with an unexpected twist.

Uninvolved parents don’t always have to be people who don’t care about their kids, or abandoned them because they don’t care – the other times is that they are stressed, overworked to keep the food on the table, and are tired from dealing with so much. When parents deal with out-of-control life circumstances, it’s hard to brush off a few minutes to get peace and solitude.

1.     Problems and desires come before the kids

Life apart from the kids or other interests and problems, being involved with their own affairs takes up times, which creates an unresponsive lifestyle for the kids. And in some cases, rejection is easier since being responsible for another life is a commitment that will take serious effort. Sometimes there are issues outside the parent’s control.

2.     No emotional attachment or commitment

Not all parents find an emotional connection to their child because it’s not natural for them. For uninvolved parents, the bond isn’t instinctual or automatic, they feel a disconnect, which limits the amount of affection to the child.

3.     No interest in the child’s activities 

In the case of uninvolved parents, the lack of affection does a lot more than physical damage, it extends to mental damage and perspective too. No interest in school work, activities, or events can create the feeling of abandonment and possibly father/Mother issues they will take out on others.

4.     There are no expectations or set rules to follow 

Uninvolved parents lack discipline style, so no self-correcting of the child’s behaviors leads to behavior problems in life, which will need addressing by professional help or guidance from others. The uncorrected behavior creates an “I do whatever I want” attitude and the parents must deal with whatever performance the child displays in all activities. 

Blaming the parents for the problem child is easier because it is assumed that kids will have responsible parents to help them but coming across a child with no parent involved in their life is hard to understand. The amount of reasons to add up only creates a headache, sadness and can end up making someone question their own life. Uninvolved parents will take little to no notice because of their own problems they are facing and act differently thinking “I’m not doing anything wrong, so why are they acting so crazy?” The lack of proper guidance of the parent and self-reliance of the child forcing themselves to grow up and relying on others can either go great or horribly wrong.

Here are the symptoms to look out for in neglected children:

• Depression
• Anxiety
• Apathy
• Failure to thrive
• Hyperactivity
• Aggression
• Developmental delays
• Low self-esteem
• Substance misuse
• Withdrawing from friends and activities
• Appearing uncaring or indifferent
• Shunning emotional closeness or intimacy

The Proper Treatments for Neglectful Parenting

• Therapy to face themselves

If the child is used to suppressing their emotions, it will be harder to experience and recognize emotions in a healthy way. Professionals can help children identify, accept, and express what they feel in a healthy way.

• Therapy for family

Being neglected at home, both parents and the child can resolve their problems by talking and expressing what they feel. Early intervening to correct the behavior can fix the attitude and consequences that are present and will appear.

• Classes for neglected parents

Neglecting the child’s needs could benefit the parent and teach them a few life lessons. For those still learning and others who are older, it’s important to remember what it’s like to be a child and don’t give the same bad experience. 

To wrap it all up, children are little people who learn what they see and become easily influenced. As they get older, bad, and good habits will define who they are and what choices they make in life as they get older. Giving them attention and guidance now will guarantee a future filled with success or else they will turn to a dark road nobody can save them from.