Every relationship, whether it be platonic, romantic, or familial, will have its ups and downs, it's completely normal! As much as we all wish it, life does not come ready with a step-by-step guide on how to live your best life right off the bat. But how do you know if your relationship is having a momentary rough patch or is genuinely toxic? 

While everybody is unique and love can look like a multitude of different things, the majority of healthy relationships should have some key similarities. Having fun and genuinely enjoying your time together, acts of appreciation and care, mutual and constant respect for one another even in tough times, and feeling free to speak openly about how you feel are all very baseline, yet often overlooked, qualities your relationship should have!

My significant other and I have been together just shy of 6 years, and while it took a little while to put these valuable relationship skills consistently into action it's become second nature to us. It's almost like a hidden muscle that you need to work out! It's an absolute asset to feel secure and loved in whatever relationship you're in.

Here are some golden pointers on how to make sure your relationship is headed in the right direction.

1. Open Communication

Often, the cause of discourse in any type of relationship can be traced back to a lack of communication. Whether the person feels as though their voice isn't being heard or their wants aren't being met, an open style of communication is a great fallback to solving this incredibly common issue.

Leading with "I feel" statements are usually the best way to tackle this. That way, nobody feels attacked and it makes for a welcoming, non-judgmental environment to have the discussion in. This can look as simple as, "Hey, I feel like we don't spend enough quality time together. I'd love to plan a picnic for tomorrow if you don't have anything planned!" Or even, "It makes me feel unappreciated when you don't ask how my day was." Although starting the conversation can be tough, it's always best to tell the person you love exactly how you feel! After all, honesty is the best policy!

2. Keeping the Respect in Arguments

Disagreements are bound to happen, sometimes it can feel almost impossible not to bump heads, especially if you're living together! But the key thing to keep in mind is that it's you and the other person versus the problem, not you versus them. Although the argument can feel quite personal and hostile at times, continue to remind yourself that you love that person and hurting them would be the last thing you'd want to do, likewise, hurting you should be the last thing they'd want to do as well.

Acknowledging the other person's pain and being humble enough to admit your wrongdoings is also essential. Maintaining "I feel" statements are a great tool in de-escalating disagreements as well as understanding that everybody is human and makes mistakes. 

3. Sharing the Workload

There's no better feeling than coming home and finding out the chores you had been dreading all day are already finished. It might not seem like much but taking the extra couple minutes to fold laundry, bathe the kids, prep dinner, or vacuum the house but really does take the weight of the world off of the shoulders of a loved one. Plus, with less time being taken up by boring and mundane activities, there will be more time for fun and relaxation!

4. Understanding Love Languages

Ever heard of love languages? It's essentially how you best receive love from others! There are 5 different love languages: Acts of Service - Doing helpful tasks for your partner. Words of Affirmation - Telling your partner things that encourage them or make them happy. Physical touch - Endearingly touching your partner or being in close contact with them. Gifts - Receiving a gift from your partner, which can be big or small. And finally, Quality Time - Spending undivided time with one another. 

While love languages are typically associated with a romantic partner, they could just as easily be utilized to show a friend or family member how much you care about them. Being able to authentically understand how those around you, as well as yourself, desire to be loved is astonishingly impactful and it will strengthen the bonds you share with everybody around you for the rest of your life.

5. Appreciating Each Others Strengths and Weaknesses

Complimentary pairings are absolutely everywhere! Just as cheese is delicious with wine and peanut butter isn't nearly as tasty without jelly, your weaknesses could be your partner's strengths. Maybe you aren't able to parallel park under pressure, but you can fix a broken toilet like no other! Maybe your partner somehow burns every pot of noodles they put on, but they can give a mean foot massage! 

Recognizing what you and your significant other are best at and how you each contribute to your relationship can be a fantastic way to begin really appreciating each other, and your individual efforts for one another. Showing gratitude for your partner, especially on a regular basis, really lets them know that you see all their selflessness and hard work and can improve many areas of life. 

How many of these patterns did you discover to be in some of your relationships? How will you be incorporating these positive patterns into your daily life? Did you expect to see a few familiar pieces of life advice?

Addressing unhealthy relationships can be one of the most difficult things in life to do, but it doesn't serve for anything! When you rid yourself of toxic people that don't treat you with any worth, changes happen within the body. Some people have described feelings of depression and anxiety improving, along with levels of energy-returning all after ditching toxic, unhealthy relationships. At the end of the day, what's most important is doing what feels right for you!