14 Books That Will Help You Rediscover Yourself After A Breakup

Titles that will enable healing and help you regain your confidence after a breakup
Moving on from a breakup
Image source: Pexels 

Breakups are not only heartbreaking and soul-wrenching but they can also make you lose sight of your self-worth. Therefore, moving forward with increased self-love and appreciation is essential. 

Having gone through the same experience and seeing several of my friends go through terrible breakups, I can confidently say that it’s not easy to move on but once you do, there’s nothing better. The renewed confidence and independence are unparalleled. 

These books can be the perfect guide on your journey of self-discovery, self-love, and finally, moving on. 

Books on Self-discovery 

1.The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael A. Singer

An essential for discovering one’s self, through practices of meditation, this book offers a deep exploration into the limits of consciousness and offers ways to overcome it in order to achieve peace and mindfulness. 

Pain, suffering, and rejection are feelings most people experience during a breakup. This book will help you learn the power of not taking things too personally and instead focusing on self-development.

“In the book The Untethered Soul, Michael A. Singer takes you step-by-step through the process of Gyana, the yoga of the Intellect, to the Source. Moreover, he does it with elegant simplicity. Read this book carefully, and you will get more than a glimpse of eternity.” ― Deepak Chopra

2. The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book)by Don Miguel Ruiz

Four basic agreements in the book offer a way of living that is full of joy and compassion through the elimination of unnecessary negative beliefs. 

It is normal to feel a little lost and unmotivated after a breakup. This book is perfect for anyone who is trying to rediscover themselves through difficult times. These agreements will motivate you to lead a happy and fulfilling life. 

“This book by don Miguel Ruiz, simple yet so powerful, has made a tremendous difference in how I think and act in every encounter.” — Oprah Winfrey 


3. Don't Sweat the Small Stuff . . . and It's All Small Stuff: Simple Ways to Keep the Little Things from Taking Over Your Life by Richard Carlson

This self-help book is an inspirational guide that helps in not only overcoming challenges in life but also in achieving goals and aspirations.

We've all been in a place where we found ourselves obsessively thinking about someone or worrying about the past. The overthinking that follows a breakup can be mentally exhausting. This book makes for the perfect guide to practice mindfulness to stop worrying about things that are out of your control. 

"Over a decade of positive psychology research seems to validate what we learned twenty years ago from Don't Sweat the Small Stuff. . . . These wonderful books help break down and simplify how to achieve that happiness."― Shawn Achor

4. One Day My Soul Just Opened Up: 40 Days and 40 Nights Toward Spiritual Strength and Personal Growth by Iyanla Vanzant

The book offers simple exercises that help in the realization of one’s true self. The author successfully offers a motivational guide that promotes creativity and spiritual healing. 

Only self-love can help you get over feelings of loneliness and abandonment that come with a breakup. Iyanla Vanzant excellently explains the journey to self-love and compassion in this book. 

“The most powerful spiritual healer, fixer, teacher on the planet.” —Oprah Winfrey 

5. Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself By Melody Beattie 

A simple and straightforward modern classic, the book charts the path to freedom, healing, hope, and happiness. 

Relationships can often leave you, dependant, on another person. This book effectively explains how to identify and overcome codependency. If you find yourself getting upset because of the actions and behaviors of others, this book can be very helpful to refocus your attention to the things that truly matter. 

"Melody Beattie is an American phenomenon...She understands being overboard, which helps her throw best-selling lifelines to those still adrift." —TIME 

Books about Self love 

1.The Self-Love Experiment: Fifteen Principles for Becoming More Kind, Compassionate, and Accepting of Yourself by Shannon Kaiser

In this book, Shannon Kaiser reveals the importance and secrets of self-love and acceptance to achieve goals and lead a fulfilled life. 

We all need inspiration and a push now and then to believe in ourselves, especially after a heartbreak. This book will remind you to challenge yourself every day to be more compassionate to yourself. 

“Self-love is the greatest thing we can do to help ourselves and help the world.” —Shannon Kaiser

2. Sisters of the Yam: Black Women and Self-Recovery By bell hooks

Combining the consequences of living in a political world, the author offers an exploration of black womanhood and the joys of self-healing.

Bell hooks teach the readers how to embrace all parts of themselves, the good and the bad. She redefines the societal concepts of beauty and shifts the focus to inner peace and beauty instead. 

"Sisters of the Yam, with its mixture of personal narrative, cultural critique, brief literary analyses, and plain, old-fashioned, kitchen table common-sense advice, might very well reach beyond the university to the diverse groups of people that have been hooked’s ‘intended’ audience throughout much of her speaking and writing." ―Sandra Adell, African American Review 

3. Faith in the Valley: Lessons for Women on the Journey to Peace By Ivanla Vanzant

A simple yet profound guide for women living in the modern world and ways to deal with the consequent stress. 

This easy to read book talks about patience, confusion, and betrayal. It includes several stories that teach the reader to not waste energy on things and people that aren't meant for them. 

4. Sacred Woman: A Guide to Healing the Feminine Body, Mind, and Spirit By Queen Afua 

A guide filled with affirmations of love, wisdom, and passion, it offers tools to initiate spiritual healing and to love and rejoice in the wonders of the female body. 

Finding confidence and healing within one's self after a breakup can be difficult, which is why this book is perfect as it talks about spirituality and the power of healing yourself as well as others. 

“ Sacred Woman offers profound wisdom to all who seek healing and transformation. Queen Afua is a national treasure.” —Bob Law


Books to help you Move On 

1. The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate by Gary Chapman

The book offers practical and insightful information and advice about the complexities of relationships and their demands. 

It can often be overwhelming and confusing to get into a new relationship. As you get ready to get into one, knowing your partner’s love language can be very helpful to avoid misunderstandings and confusion. 

2. Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brené Brown

In this book, the author elaborates on the importance of vulnerability and embracing uncertainty in matters of love, innovation, and creativity.

Breakups can leave you with trust issues that can prevent you from being vulnerable again in a romantic relationship. This book preaches the power of vulnerability and can help you regain the strength to give people chances to know and love you. 

"Daring Greatly is an important book - a timely warning about the danger of pursuing certainty and control above all. Brené Brown offers all of us a valuable guide to the real reward of vulnerability: Greater courage." —Daniel Pink


3. The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment  by Eckhart Tolle

The book delves into a spiritual journey towards enlightenment through the discovery of truth and light. Moreover, the author offers insightful knowledge about the power of free will. 

Moving on can be difficult but it's the most important part of any breakup. It is easy to romanticize past relationships and memories even when you know they were not all that great. This book will reiterate how useless it is to think and worry about the past when you can focus and be grateful for the present. 

4. Never Chase Men Again: 38 Dating Secrets to Get the Guy, Keep Him Interested, and Prevent Dead-end Relationships by Bruce Bryans

An essential for getting back into the dating scene, this dating advice book for women reiterates the importance of self-respect in relationships.

Moreover, it will enable you to rebuild your confidence when it comes to dating and will help you be sure and clear about what you want from future relationships. 

5. The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo

The power of a clean and organized environment must not be ignored. Thus, this essential guide offers multiple methods and guidance to clear your clutter.

Your environment can drastically affect your mood. Getting your life back on track after a breakup includes productivity and being your best self which is easier to do in a clean and healthy living space.  

“The Japanese expert’s ode to decluttering is simple and easy to follow.”
—Vogue


Remember that moving on from a breakup can be a painstakingly slow and difficult process but with the help of these books, you'll gain newfound wisdom and strength to overcome any challenge life throws your way. 

An avid reader, Netflix enthusiast and a passionate writer.

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