You're An Olympic Level Procrastinator If You Do These Things

Have you ever encountered big projects in your work or school career that just seem to get away from you?  Do you keep telling yourself you're going to complete it but find other activities to do instead?  If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be a procrastinator.

If the following narration applies to you, you’re definitely a procrastinator and that's stopping your growth.

1. You struggle with a lack of concentration

You open your computer to Word Documents, racking your brain for a good place to begin writing.  The stark white screen seems to be taunting you with its emptiness.  A ping sounds and you click the notification, getting distracted by the cute video of a dog sleeping that was shared on Facebook.  

You think to yourself, my dog is way cuter, but you share it on your page anyways.  Two hours later and you're scrolling through a random argument between two strangers, surprisingly invested in the outcome.

I've done this on a number of occasions.  Sometimes my mom would hold my phone and I'd have to turn my computer on Do Not Disturb.  Arguments between strangers can just be so fascinating though!  

2. The YouTube rabbit hole works way too easily on you

You click on a YouTube link someone posted about an intriguing conspiracy theory within Disney movies, and before you realize it, you have clicked on three more related videos and fell down the rabbit hole.  Why are you here again? That’s right, you’re supposed to be writing, not clicking on the video for an SNL skit about makeup for men.  

Although now that you think about it, your brother has been asking you for makeup tips lately.  You shrug, sending him the link and chuckling when he texts back a gif pretending to be mock surprised.  

This happens to me every time I go on YouTube.  Even if I just need an instructional video, I get distracted.

3. You would rather do something you hate than your project

Sighing, you close YouTube and Facebook.  You glance at the clock, seeing that five hours have passed and still not a single word has been typed for your project.  The cursor blinks aggressively at you, and you look away from your screen, noticing how messy your room is.  

Getting up, you begin to pick up the floor, throwing away your many empty water bottles beside the bed and grabbing the crumpled chip bags from your desk.  

You pick up your dog’s toys, tossing them in her bin.  She’s napping on the bed, what an easy life dogs have. All they ever do is eat, sleep, and play; no stressful work shifts or intense teachers or overbearing parents.  

You wish you could be a dog, but you aren’t, you’re a human with human responsibilities. While contemplating life as a dog, you begin to gather the laundry and maybe even vacuum.  By the time you are done another hour has passed.

Who hasn't cleaned while they procrastinate?  I had a friend in high school who used cleaning as her go-to excuse to not complete her homework.  We would always discuss how well it staves off our parent's anger.  They just aren't sure whether to be annoyed you haven't finished your work or pleased you cleaned your room.

4. Online Shopping is completely justified

Sitting back down, you once again stare at your blank Word Document before deciding a quick look at Amazon's latest deals surely won't hurt. In the Trending Deals section, you find an adorable leather mini backpack that would pair perfectly with your new yellow sundress.  Pulling an outfit together in your mind, you also search for a pair of new sandals and some jewelry to tie it all together.

Amazon has some truly amazing deals, and you feel bad giving Jeff more money, but you can’t help the convenience of it.  Besides, the stuff can sometimes literally be at your doorstep the next day!  

It takes away the social anxiety aspect of shopping, while still giving you a shot of dopamine. You click "Add To Cart" and a smile is drawn to your face.  It quickly fades, however, as you see a text from your friend asking what you decided to write about for the project.

Personally, I think Amazon is my weakness.  The convenience is especially dangerous now that items can be delivered on the same day. Something about buying whatever I need from the comfort of my home is so appealing. 

5. Suddenly talking to your friend has a new level of importance

Not that it wasn't important before, but now it just became the most fascinating subject on the planet.  You quickly change the topic of the conversation, focusing on the newest guy your friend has been talking to.  

She goes on a mini-rant about how frustrating it is that men can't express their feelings, making it harder for her to get closer to him.  You shoot back the customary Yeahs and OMGs, thinking about your own crush all the while.

When your friend is done with her rant, you crack a joke about the guy, and she “lols” in response.  She asks how your crush has been doing, and you launch into a story about how the other night, he FINALLY opened up to you. You talk about how it feels good to be trusted like that, and how you hope he continues to be honest and open in the future.

I'm pretty sure my friends and I spend 75% of our time talking about guys.  If we were characters in a book, we definitely would not be passing the Bechdel Test.

6. Naps never felt so good

Suddenly your eyes feel heavy, so you end the conversation and shut your laptop, snuggling under your cozy comforter.  It's probably the worst possible time for a nap, but the bed never felt as comfortable and inviting as it does now.

You think about the last time you took a nap, but you honestly can’t remember. It’s not that it was a long time ago, it’s just that you’ve been so busy the days all seem to run together.  

You want to fight the urge to close your eyes, but you can't find a good enough reason to not go to sleep right now.  Your dog is still snoring softly, and you decide you may as well join her in dreamland.  Thoughts of the looming deadline fade to the back of your mind as you let your thoughts drift off into dreams.

Does anyone else take naps at the worst possible times?  I feel like every time I want to take a nap, something needs urgently done.  It's like my body has trained itself to feel sleepy when pressure is applied to my schedule.

7. You get cravings you must satisfy

Waking up, you realize it's way past dinner time, and your stomach growls in frustration.  You sit up slowly, sighing as you notice it's dark outside now.  You're too lazy to cook, but you have a distinct craving for pizza. So you order your usual Ranchero Chicken, ignoring the nagging thoughts that this will be your fifth cheat day in a row.

You feel super crappy about procrastinating, but rather than confront your bad habits, you choose to eat your feelings. The pizza really hits the spot, and you use the gooey deliciousness to justify the strain it put on your wallet.  You just accept that you are a procrastinating, pizza-loving friend, and enjoy your late-night meal. 

Besides Amazon, DoorDash has got to be in a close second for my weaknesses.  Having food delivered to my doorstep is extremely dangerous for my wallet, seeing as I love food but don't really like going out to get it.  Who cares if it's not piping hot when it arrives, at least I didn't have to change out of my pajamas.

8. Two hours before the due date, you cram like never before

A constant companion to procrastinating is the late night/early morning cramming.  You chug two cups of coffee (or an energy drink) before gluing yourself to your chair and forcing yourself to be done with it.  The work may not be the highest quality you've turned in, but at least you were able to hand something in.  

I remember the times in high school where I would stay up extra late to finish papers I never started.  Now that I think about it, however, I still do that with my college classes.  The procrastination cramming has just switched from late nights to early mornings.  I'm not sure why I keep doing this to myself, seeing as it only makes me suffer, and yet, I can't help it.

9. You give yourself a post-hand-in pep talk

After submitting your shoddily done assignment, you give yourself a little pep talk about how something is better than nothing, and you will make it up with some sort of extra credit later on. You know you're just lying to yourself because you're totally going to procrastinate on that too, but you don't care.  You're just happy to be over with it.  

I give myself this pep talk every time I hand in something I waited to do until the last minute.  Maybe someday I'll stop being a procrastinator, but that day is not today.