What Are Unrealistic Expectations In Life?

Don’t let unrealistic expectations assume a level of control to hold you back. We strive for achievements as it ensures that you approach problems from many different angles because repeated disappointments impact other people too. 

Life is one big mess people must live with and coordinate with reasonable expectations as to not be knocked down or give up trying. Realistic is possible through sheer will and consistency to see an outcome become a reality. Unrealistic is thinking and hoping the outcome, situation, or event will come out as planned but usually goes another direction. There is no right or wrong way to pursue either path, it's a matter of knowing what’s worth your time and what can be dropped. Another way of looking at this is “Privilege” as people tend to think they deserve what is coming to them, therefore, increasing the need to stay unrealistic until they get knocked off their chair.

According to Vocabulary.Com, “A privilege is a special advantage not enjoyed by everyone. If you're very snooty, you probably don't allow just anyone the privilege of being your friend. Privilege comes from Latin privilegium, meaning a law for just one person, and means a benefit enjoyed by an individual or group beyond what's available to others.”

In other words, realistic is more about staying in the realm of what’s reasonable and how to make these sources work in your favor so that the unrealistic is not just a dream.

“All of us hold unrealistic expectations. In fact, the biggest unrealistic expectation is that people shouldn’t have unrealistic expectations,” according to Miranda Morris, Ph.D, a clinical psychologist in Bethesda, Md. “It’s part of the human experience.”

1.    Can Life Be Fair?

Many would love to believe life is fair and things work out for the best, but that’s not the case. Often it works for people more willing to do more than needed because they grave more. Fairness is about equality of people, each deserving what they are owed, however, speaking from experience, bread that comes from a fancy dinner party is usually what is left over to put any claim to. The rest of it was taken by others who either forced their way in or used a dirty tactic, to claim a prize they don’t deserve.

2.    Can Opportunities Fall Into My Lap?

This process begins by giving in to the mercy of other people will secure success to move forward, but that’s the wrong way of going about it. Limiting yourself to what you feel is rightly theirs already sets up the problem that needs to be addressed. The point of having an opportunity is to show what you can accomplish, what steps need to be taken, what obstacles are in the way, and what mistake will drive them away rather than take them to it. This requires a lot of thought and effort to overcome.

3.    Am I Going To Fail?

Failure isn’t easy to deal with, nor is it something that can be erased. An undo button would be lovely to have if life offered that option because many people would love to get back to a safe point in their life before that one choice ruined their life. The expectancy to fail is a normally high standard because most people who wish to succeed are often around others with an “I quit Attitude”, resulting in “Then why should I bother trying?” Many think ahead and get very settled on what they think will make them happy but it doesn’t always turn out like in their heads.

4.    Can Items Make Me Happy?

Becoming materialistic is not a great thing. Getting comfortable in the material belongings is fun, at the moment, but in the short run the happiness dies out quickly. Many people forget it’s about the long term that leads to success and keeps happiness consistent. A future event with a better income, a new car, a bigger home, or meeting the love of your life is wonderful, but it can quickly become a fleeting moment that loses all-purpose. It’s all about having the right intentions and making sure that’s the goal that will bring true happiness.

5.    Change Him/Her For The Best

One of the biggest failures you can face is having to change a person who is considered “Broken”. The achievement of making it a possibility and changing that person's life is an honorable goal and rewarding within itself. To help someone turn their life from sad, to wonderful is amazing. But what if that person won’t change? There’s a rule to remember here “There’s only one person in this world you can truly change—yourself—and even that takes a tremendous amount of effort.” As tempting as it is to try to see a miracle happen, the sheer will and desire can fall on someone who shows no gratefulness and ultimately fall back to where they started. The most important lesson here is that building your life around genuine, positive people is the best investment to make. They can help with personal and physical growth, while the ungrateful only wastes time, energy, and resources.

Here are a few others to keep in mind too!

• Double Standard Technique

Mistakes are natural and can be made by anyone. Keep in mind that when this happens, talk to yourself as if you would advise a friend or family member so you can lessen the feeling of guilt.

• Reflect The Effects Of Your Expectations

Having an expectation is reasonable and can help to make you better. Keep in mind what the expectation is and if it does justice to help make the goal realistic or a future failure to unrealistic. Look out for your best interest and know what’s worth the time and energy.

• Practice Compassion For Others

Have an open mind with patience, openness, and gentleness. Think of it as the way you treat an innocent hurt child. Acknowledge your feelings and what happened to open the cut that was made. Then realize what didn’t work and where the improvement can be made.

• Allow Flexibility For Your Mentality

Start with being sensitive to changing circumstances. Simply demanding a change will not help, it only bothers, whereas asking and offering to help with the change makes the situation less tense. Even though it’s hard work, removing them makes living a lot easier.

“Unrealistic expectations are potentially damaging because they set us and others up for failure,” said Selena C. Snow, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in Rockville, Md. “When we or someone else naturally falls short, we draw false conclusions, feel negative feelings and act in negative ways.”

To end things off, unrealistic expectations are unhelpful and cause damage that sometimes can’t always be fixed. A golden rule to follow and to have better times is to make new rules and beliefs that inspire, support, promote growth and allow success in all aspects of your life.