The Tight Rope Of Positivity: How To Balance It Correctly In Your Life

Positivity is a state of mind. It's the way a person thinks and perceives what is happening around them. Before we delve into this idea in detail, let's begin with some definitions to understand what positivity actually is. 

Optimism is defined as having confidence in the belief that the future will be in one's favor. 

Having this belief allows for a person to have more mental fortitude. The more an individual believes in his or her success, the less likely they will give up when times get rough and the more dedication they will have to complete their goals. Similarly, positivity can be defined as:

Positivity is the practice of being optimistic in attitude.

Even though positivity is described by using the word optimism, it can be infinitely implemented into one's life. 

The Stereotype of Positivity

I think that positivity is a very useful tool for maintaining a healthy state of mind. If you think about it, which one is synonymous with being happy? Positivity or Negativity? The answer is obvious, which is why I am an advocate for a positive mindset. 

Even though I am an advocate, a lot of people discount the effectiveness of the mindset. It has been believed that positivity is false and doesn't actually accomplish anything. Let's debunk this.

There is an idea of ingenuine positivity.

False Positivity is the ineffective overuse of a happy and optimistic attitude in all situations. 

This creates a false state of mind that doesn't allow for the acknowledgment or acceptance of true emotions. Positivity is a general term used for having a happier life, but it can't guarantee happiness at all times. Emotion is derived from the events and experiences over the course of a life and those cannot always be happy moments. So disguising true emotion through false or toxic positivity is invalidating, denying, and minimizing the human emotional experience. 

With that in mind, positivity can be seen as false, but only if it is actually ingenuine. A positive mindset allows for an individual to accept their feelings and to come to terms with how they feel on a daily basis. It doesn't make the feelings of sadness, anger, loneliness, or depression go away. It helps to develop a way of looking at things for the better to, maybe slightly, improve one's mood. 

Research on Positive Mindsets

According to research positive thinking is linked to a healthier mind and body. It can lessen the chance of a heart attack and makes the body feel more energized. 

It's hard to truly understand that the way humans think has such an instrumental part in how our bodies function. No visual changes occur and it seems impossible, but it's not. 

Thoughts can create stress, which is a cause of many illnesses. Still, are those thoughts accomplishing anything besides making you worry? Not really. So let's try and reframe the way you think. 

What are Negative Thoughts?

Negative thoughts are exactly as they sound. Negative. They are thoughts that trigger unwelcome emotions like stress, anxiety, and worry. Here are some examples of what negative thoughts are.

Anticipating the Worst

This is when one bad event sets the tone for the day. For example, you are walking to work in the morning and trip. In the process, you spill a little coffee on your sleeve. Now, you assume the rest of the day is going to be just as bad. 

Underestimating Yourself

Do you ever have thoughts of being insufficient? With this in mind, if a big opportunity presents itself, do you shy away from it because of thinking you aren't good enough? 

Dwell on the Bad

Have you ever had your night ruined by one small event? For example, you are enjoying the car ride with your friends until someone honks at you. Are you able to forget about it and remember the fun time or does that leave you bothered?

Blame Yourself

Do you believe most bad things are your fault? As an example, if your friend doesn't want to get together do you believe that it's because they don't want to hang out with you? 

How to Transition Thoughts into Positive Ones

Those are all common examples of negative thoughts. Everyone has them and they happen all too regularly. The good thing is that these thoughts can be reframed into positive ones very easily. With a little shift in the way you think, the negative can become positive. Here's how:

Anticipating the Worst vs. Taking Advantage 

After accidentally spilling some coffee on your shirt, instead of thinking the rest of the day is destined to be horrible, think of it as an opportunity to buy a new shirt. Even a chance to work on your confidence by going the whole day with the stain.

This immediately turns a bad situation into a chance to do something new. Now you have an excuse to buy a new shirt. Instead of thinking about the ruined one you are wearing, your mind is concentrated on what shirt you are going to buy. 

Underestimating Yourself vs. Focusing on Your Strengths 

Don't underestimate yourself, and once that amazing opportunity presents itself, don't shy away. Instead, think of ways that you could make a difference and focus on your strengths. Then it will be easier to sell yourself on that big new opportunity.

By focusing on your strengths you are thinking only of the positive traits you associate yourself with. Giving you more confidence in yourself and ultimately helping you to love yourself just a little more. It will give you the extra push to take the risk on the new job or move to a new city. 

Dwell on the Bad vs. Concentrate on the Good

Try to not let things get in your head. Don't let a small mishap ruin a great night out. Try to focus your thoughts on the amazing time you shared with your friends. That will allow less time spent on thinking of the small negative event that occurred. 

Why should the little accident ruin an entire night? The memories created with the people you enjoy will last a lot longer than remembering how the waiter brought you the wrong order. So focus on that, because there is little reason to let the waiter's mistake keep you frustrated. 

Blame Yourself vs. Understanding Responsibility

I think responsibility should be taken, but only for things that you need to be responsible for. A friend declining an offer to hang out is not one of those examples. It is not your fault, and responsibility for your friend not being available is because of his or her busy schedule. Not because he or she doesn't want to spend time with you. You are friends for a reason. Remember that. 

Not everything is your fault. Things can be out of your control, and for that reason, acceptance and understanding are all that is needed. Know that your friend wanted to hang out, he or she couldn't because of something unexpected. Now you can use that time to do something for yourself. Take advantage of the newly presented free time you now have. 

Positivity can be learned

Positivity doesn't come naturally to everyone. Even if someone is more positive in nature, it is impossible to keep every stray negative thought out of your head. It takes practice to have a positive mindset.

Thinking of the positive is usually not the first reaction. Panic sets in and worries come streaming into the mind like a gushing river. The mind must be trained to think of positive thoughts immediately and to rely on them consistently. 

As I said above, making those small adjustments to the way you think will be beneficial, but they have to be used with consistency. To train the mind, positivity must be used a lot. 

For the pessimists out there, don't fret because a positive mindset can be learned. At the same time, don't throw this idea out. Give it a shot. Positive thinking helps to lead one to a happier life. 

How to be Positive

Again it is the way you think. It is not something you have to live with forever because you have control over how you think. 

Be Your Own Support System 

You are the first line of defense when something happens. A breakup, struggling with a friend, and changing jobs are all stress-inducing events that cause negative emotions. Who tries to rationalize these events first? The answer is you.

To avoid going down an endless rabbit hole of negative thoughts you need to be there for yourself. Be your own best friend. Talk to yourself in a positive manner.

Smile More 

It has been proven that smiling is linked to happiness. Even when in a bad mood, smiling can help you to feel better. 

It doesn't work instantly, but fake smiling leads to an increase in mood. It tricks your body into thinking that you are happy. 

In summary, a positive mindset is very beneficial. I would much rather think in a positive way. Negative thoughts cause stress and worry, and those are not appealing emotions. It's a simple idea that can help in a tremendous way. Positivity is a way of life, but remember that it does not mean to ignore true emotions. It is only a way to help you increase your happiness and to find more enjoyment in your life.