Solutions To Common Excuses That Are Stopping You From Moving Out Of Your Parents' House

Whether you are 18 or 38, if you haven't moved out of your parents' house yet, the idea has undoubtedly crossed your mind. Maybe you have a toxic home life or simply want to gain independence. The problem is, whenever the thought pops into your head, it feels more like a fantasy or a dream, rather than something achievable. When the thought of moving out enters your head, what you tell yourself about the possibility of achieving it is vital to your success.

Here are solutions to 13 excuses that prevent you from moving out of your parents' house.

1. "I don't make enough money to support myself"

It will never seem financially viable to move out at a young age. The fact of the matter is, this is a lie that you are telling yourself which prevents you from actually succeeding. Take it from me, I moved out at the ripe age of 21. I was a full-time college student with only a part-time job getting paid minimum wage ($11 an hour at the time). And the cherry on top is that I live in one of the most expensive states in America... California!  

I know what you're probably thinking: "how did you possibly survive under those circumstances?" I'll give you a short answer first, then a long one. the short answer is, I struggled a lot but I hustled and made it work. 

"The best way out is always through." - Robert Frost

The long answer is, I begged and pleaded with my managers at work for more hours, for overtime. It was no doubt a challenge, and I spend many days eating the typical college diet of ramen and hot pockets. The scarcity of money and the looming shadow of rent hanging over me each month propelled me forward.

I had no choice, it was either sink or swim. I chose to swim. The point is, you can always make the excuse that you don't make enough money to move out. And you might be right. On paper, it might not make sense, but you must believe that you are a being of sheer perseverance and survival (like your ancestors have been for a thousand years before you). If you think like this, you will find a way to make it work no matter what, just like I did.

2. "I don't feel ready to live on my own"

You're right, you aren't ready to live on your own. But the reality is, you never will be ready. Don't wait for the perfect opportunity or the perfect circumstances to take steps toward your goals. If you do, you might be waiting for years, because there is no perfect moment to do a great thing. You must decide that right now is as good a time as any to move out, and just do it.

"its a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you're ready. I have this feeling that actually no one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready. There is only now." - Hugh Laurie

Don't let fear dictate your decisions. You aren't supposed to be "ready" to take big steps in life. Nobody is ever truly ready because life is unpredictable and will throw curveballs that even the most prepared individuals won't see coming. Instead, take a leap of faith and do it. Move out and learn and grow as you go.

3. "I don't need to move out yet, it will only make my life more difficult than it already is"

Before you believe this oh-so-common excuse that many young people use to stay with their parents for longer than they need to, consider the following. If your life is already going to be difficult, and you're going to get served lemon after lemon, wouldn't you want to squeeze each lemon to get as much juice as you possibly could out of them?

The point is, living with your parents long into adulthood is certainly comfortable, but is comfort truly all that you want out of life? Coming from experience, I struggled a lot when I first moved out at 21. I had no idea what I was doing. I grew up in a very sheltered and catering environment. But I wouldn't trade those years of struggle for anything in the world, because they sculpted me into the man I am today.

So maybe you're right, moving out will make your life more difficult. But in the process, you will grow and develop into the best version of yourself. Ask yourself... Is the struggle worth the growth that comes out of it? (it definitely was for me)    

4. "I still need my parents' help with so many things"

If you are anything like I was at 20, you rely on your parents' help for many things. You aren't even sure how to do a lot of things because your parents do it all for you. As a sheltered and over-nurtured kid growing up, I understand this as well as anyone. Despite how it appears, If anything, your over-reliance on your parents is all the more reason to move out; let me explain.

As hard as it is to think about, we all must face the same truth. Our parents aren't going to be here to look after us forever. Some day, they will grow old and frail, and at that point, the roles will be reversed. You will have to look after and care for your elderly parents. 

What better gift could you give to your parents than moving out, becoming fully independent to grow and mature into your best self so that one day you will be prepared to care for them? Not only is this a wonderful way to repay your parents for all the hard work they put in raising you, but it will make them so proud to see.

Total independence is an underappreciated virtue, and I think you will find it to be the most rewarding change in your life if you choose to leap from the nest. 

5. "Fewer and fewer people my age are moving out, so why should I?"

Don't compare yourself to others. You are on your own journey, and the things other people are doing (or not doing) shouldn't influence your decisions. The fact is, there are numerous benefits to moving out (which will be discussed in the next section) that you would miss out on if you use this excuse.

You will be able to find every excuse in the world to get out of doing a challenging, life-changing thing, and this one is no exception. At some point, you just have to say "enough" and make the decision to choose growth over comfort. 

6. "Finding a room is too hard"

While finding a good room can be difficult, there has never been a better time in history to search for rooms. The internet provides endless opportunities to connect with people who have rooms available. All you have to do is put in the work!

Websites like craigslist, Roomster, and even Facebook are all great sources to look for rooms! You'd be surprised what you might find if you look long enough for rooms on these sites. 

All of the rooms that I've found have been on craigslist, and so far two out of the three rooms have been great places to live and very cheap too! Craigslist is flooded with scammers though, so watch out!

Another option for finding a room is to ask your friends! If you have friends who also might be looking to move out of their parent's house, it is a great opportunity to team up and split an apartment. It is fun and a little less stressful to live on your own when you have your friends around. 

7. "I can't cook and a ramen diet doesn't sound appetizing"

Cooking is one of the most useful and practical skills to learn. There are hundreds of thousands of recipes readily available on the internet. One quick google search will provide you with all you need to know.

You don't have to be a master chef to learn to cook. There are plenty of easy recipes that even a child could make. Not only that but there are cheap and healthy options for those of us on a budget! Rice, beans, oatmeal, chicken, and frozen veggies are just a few cheap and healthy ingredients that you could eat instead of ramen.

As the Pixar movie, Ratatouille taught us: "Anyone can cook!" This is true for you too! Put in the effort, and the skill of cooking will develop over time. The inability to cook should never be an excuse because you can easily learn.

8. "I don't have a car, so I can't get around without a ride"

While having a car definitely makes things easier, the hard truth is that not everyone can afford a car, especially young adults who are still in school. However, this doesn't have to be a barrier to you moving out.

Millions of Americans use public transportation every day. Single mothers working two jobs, businessmen in New York, and struggling adults who are just trying to get by. Using public transportation is actually an effective, environmentally friendly, and cheap way to get around. 

Learn the bus routes in your area and you will have a stable ride to work or school every day. Another option (though expensive) is using Uber or Lyft. These services are quick and efficient but will cost a lot extra.

Depending on how far your school and work are, a bicycle is another great alternative to driving. You will get exercise and save the environment at the same time! 

While you are using one of the alternative transportation methods above, it will give you plenty of opportunities to save money for a car. Eventually, with enough hard work and dedication, you will be able to buy one, even if it's a cheap car. I would recommend old Hondas or Toyotas. Civics and Corollas pre-2007 are extremely cheap and reliable cars.

9. "I'm not organized enough to handle the responsibilities that come with moving out"

Being organized can be a challenge for anyone, especially for those who are "organizationally challenged" like me. Thankfully, technology has made things very easy on us! No matter where you stand in your organizational skills, there is always room for improvement. 

Staying organized is a skill that takes practice. There are a few apps that can definitely help with your journey to keep your environment, mind, and responsibilities organized!

Todoist is the perfect to-do list maker app that will have you staying on task day by day and week by week. If you use this app, you'll never forget about the looming responsibilities that await you out in the world of independent living. 

Evernote is your all-in-one note-taking app. Jot down anything from homework assignments to grocery lists. This note-taking app will make sure you have everything written in (digital) ink so you are always at your most productive.

Due is a calendar assistant app that will remind you of any future due dates with notifications. This is most convenient for keeping track of any deadlines or bills that need to be tended to. You'll never miss a deadline ever again with this app. 

Brain.fm is a concentration app that plays soothing music that will help you focus on any task at hand. This app is phenomenal for staying focused on a homework assignment, for reading, or for replying to emails. Any task that requires concentration, Brain.fm will help! It can also be used as a soothing background sound to put you to sleep.

10. "My anxiety would be too overwhelming living on my own"

For people with anxiety, moving out of their parents' house seems counter-productive and scary. Therapists would disagree because, in their treatment process for anxiety, they use a technique called "exposure therapy" which is shown to greatly decrease anxiety symptoms.

If you struggle with anxiety as I did for almost a decade, moving out and living on your own probably sounds like a nightmare. While it seems scary, it can actually be very beneficial to put yourself out there and willingly expose yourself to anxious environments.

Edna B. Foa, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist and professor of psychiatry at the University of Pennsylvania. She wrote a publication on depression and anxiety in which she discussed a treatment for anxiety called exposure therapy.

Exposure therapy is the intentional confrontation of a person's fears in a safe environment. In this way, hiding from your anxiety will not help anything. By facing your fears head-on, it will begin to treat itself.

While I am not a clinical psychologist, I know moving out worked for my anxiety. I suffered from severe anxiety and social anxiety for years, but I continually put myself out there and forced myself into scary situations. Over time my anxiety got easier and easier to manage. Take my advice on this subject with a grain of salt since I'm only a student of psychology and not an official psychologist yet. I am simply telling you what worked for me. 

11. "I don't have good enough social skills or street smarts to make it on my own"

Nobody is born with amazing social skills or street knowledge. They are skills that can be developed over time. And these two skills are best learned by going through tough situations which cause you to think and problem solve.

Wisdom is developed through repeated failure. Once you fail enough, you will gain insight into how to do things differently. Have enough flat tires on your car and you will want to learn how to change a flat as well as bringing the proper tools to get the job done. Experience can only be gained the hard way.

As for your social skills, moving out is the best way to develop them! When you are on your own, you have to call all the shots and communicate effectively if you intend to get what you want. It all comes down to practice. Over time, you will find that your communication skills have gone through the roof if you keep practicing!

12. "What if I fail and end up moving back in with my parents anyway?"

“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.” - Terry Pratchett

Stop dwelling on the possibility of failure and start thinking in terms of success. What if you succeed? What if moving out is the best decision of your life and you grow and learn more than you ever have in your life? The only way to know the temperature of the water is to jump in!

 Failure is a natural part of life, so even if the worst-case scenario did happen and you moved back in with your parents at some point, you would have a whole new outlook on life coupled with experience. Living with your parents again is not the same as still living with your parents. Move out and you might find that you are more resilient than you thought!

13. "There's no point in moving out"

I don't even have to tell you this is a lie because you already know it. Moving out to live on your own comes with so many benefits that they can't even all be counted. At 25, there is nothing I would recommend more to young or old adults than moving out of their parents' house; it is by far the most rewarding experience I've ever had.

Some of the many benefits of moving out include financial literacy, total freedom without supervision, personal/character development, stress relief for your parents, decorative liberty, and a whole lot less conflict and arguments with your parents.

Given all the amazing benefits of moving out, it is definitely something to consider!

The bottom line...

Only you can decide if moving out is the right choice to make. But at the end of the day, at least you can say that you no longer believe the 13 common excuses listed in this article. You will now be able to make a decision without excuse, based on truth and with purpose. It just might be the best decision of your life if you go through with it!