A Girl Is More Than Just Her Size

I have never understood the idea of identifying any girl by her size as if it is the only visible thing about her. And the worst part is not only men recognize women as objects of size but also other women.

36-24-36, yes just three numbers to become and look perfect. Yes. these numbers exist – and not just in our pop-culture consciousness but in reality. Claiming that these measurements represent an impossible ideal is nothing new. People have been saying it for years and following it blindly.

Kim Kardashian is the torchbearer of the ‘big butt’ movement. Many black women and now almost every woman finds the big butt and big bust attractive, but what once the trend is over? Although like most feminists I’m sure, I don’t believe that body parts should be seen as fashionable or unfashionable commodities, I know that part of the reason I’ve become more accepting of my body shape is that it has become societally desirable.

I am talking about size because since I have hit puberty my ‘big butt’ has been the sole focus of my existence and identity. I remember back in school I used to pretend that I like being called ‘Matka - an earthenware jar’ because it was a joke and I was not supposed to feel bad about it. Honestly, I did not care much also as I was just a child and still growing up.

But soon after I lost a few extra kilos my ‘curves’ (the euphemism used for butt and bust) were accentuated and became the highlight of my whole being. I was already not so comfortable with my body, as most of us girls are not for being obese, skinny, and what not? For me, being curvy was also a struggle.

The unrealistic beauty standards often termed as 'body goals' are the toxic product of social media. With the rise of social media and the influencer market, there was a positive rise in eating disorders among young men and women. I seldom come across people who post their unedited or unfiltered photos.

Everyone seems to be so conscious about the smallest of small detail in their photo, their smile should be in place, arm fat should not show, they should not look too small, they have to hide acne scars and whatnot. The idea of a perfect photo and body only exists on social media, not in reality. 

I was delusional that my body type is flattering and most girls kill for it but when I came across people (then friends) who would tell me, “hey, boys get attracted to you because you have a nice ass and figure” this so-called compliment became my nightmare. I got conscious about my appearance, I only bought clothes that would hide my ‘curves’. Loosely fitted kurtas, long tops that covered my thighs and butt, one size bigger pair of denim (nothing short).

Then, unfortunately, I ran into so many people who would only talk about my figure that it started to creep me out. I tried losing weight but nothing helped. My ex-boyfriends also told me how they were so lucky that their girlfriend had a perfect body (by which they meant my ‘curves’). I felt like I was living in an unwanted body. I started to doubt and question myself, thinking I lack something that people cannot see beyond my figure.

It took me longer than it should have to realize, I am much more than just my size. Before you ever shame anyone or even yourself, you should keep in mind one thing that people will always comment on. It is a vicious cycle and you have to ‘trust yourself’ first. Because if you cannot trust yourself you will not be able to love yourself. Women are not just a size, they have their own identity and want to be known for their skills, achievements, and the kind of person they are.