Love Lessons From "love Island": Top 3 Dating Tips

   As Co-Vid ramps up again, so do our Netflix binges and Hulu marathons. Whether you look for a show that gets you thinking or some good ol' trash reality TV to destress and distract, Love Island might just work for both. It's okay I was surprised too. Though what do you have to lose? Fall time cuddle cravings are just around the corner.

   First, if you aren't familiar-- allow me. Love Island started as a UK game show and then spread internationally with versions of the show now based in Australia, Germany, Sweden, and finally the USA in 2019. The premise is quite simple. A group of attractive young singles is placed in a private Summer villa with the expectation to pair up and become the winning couple for a prize of $100,000. Of course, almost every move is being watched by tons of cameras. Things get messier as new singles or "Islanders" continually enter the villa and contestants are given the option to re-couple. Single means vulnerable and not being chosen means getting dumped from the show entirely. Basically, find a connection or you're out. Now, what can we learn from watching life in a bubble where one's sole purpose is to find love? Well, a lot. 

Check out the dating advice from this global hit series:

1. Love with Your Heart, Listen to Your Gut

   While this may seem obvious as an idea, man is it hard to put into practice. Well, it turns out dramatic irony can be more than just entertaining. With Love Island audiences are tuned into every action, lie, and conversation. So when a player plays, their usual undetected tactics are brought to light and quickly. Nothing shows this quite clearly as Australia's Season 1 love triangle. Enter contestant and final winner Grant Crapp. In just the first couple of episodes, viewers watch him lead on two girls and then completely deny any traces of doing so. From the birds-eye of a viewer, we see Grant's words to partner Cassidy directly contradict his actions. Yup, cameras don't lie. Most importantly we see Cassidy's waves of doubt weren't just doubts and instead inner guidance. So, what can we learn? For both guys and girls, if the beginning of a relationship raises more questions than brownie points, it's likely best to listen to you over your heart. 

2. Healthy Jealousy is Okay

   When your mom told you "there's plenty of fish in the sea" in middle school, she wasn't kidding. Whether you're in a relationship or seeking one, there is, unfortunately, no black hole that sucks in every other interesting person. Now take Love Island into account, where every other potential option happens to be ridiculously attractive. Oh and your partner barely knows you and can re-couple at any time. Multiple interests are almost inevitable here and as scary as that sounds, watching the show unfold is actually...comforting. Even in this heightened environment, most contestants entertain distractions quite temporarily. When new bombs and bombshells enter the villa, the initial craze is typically intense but short-lived. For example, when Season 2 Australian beauty's Phoebe and Anna enter, the entire villain is shaken. However, this bit of jealousy ends up being a good thing for most; pushing fellow contestant Jessie to mark her territory. And even after her partner is detoured from a chemistry-filled date with Anna, he commits to Jessie quickly and fully after collecting his thoughts. He even felt guilt rather than power in the situation (yes not all men are dogs!). For our purposes, possible chemistry between who you're dating and someone else is scary of course. But jealousy is an emotion, so let it happen. Rather than letting it overcome us, we can view distractions as an opportunity to see who our partner is under pressure. Whether they crack or break through it, you are always left better off. 

3. Can't Force a Feeling

   Shifting gears to America's latest season, it's time we talk acceptance. In the latest episodes of Love Island USA tensions ran high when three new faces dropped in to stir things up. Fresh from the pain of Cinco, Cashay didn't have time to think before her new partner quite blatantly stated he didn't want to continue with her. Right after? Break down. Tears. Lots of them. But, the next day she had her civil conversations and expressed acceptance about the situation; even getting a laugh in with the one who hurt her. "Know what you want," she says. So in the chaos of the dating world, we see acceptance isn't as black and white as we think. One, it takes time. Whether it's after an intense cry and a good's night rest or a month later, letting go of what isn't right for you doesn't have to happen right away. Though if we know our worth, it can happen quickly. It is a choice. We have the option to hold onto what we can't control or let it control us for good. And this choice is rooted in knowing our self-worth, right Cashay? 

Spoiler Alert for Love Island USA ahead:

Look for yourself--handling rejection with her head held high. 

A Final Word

   With all this in mind, we end on the note that reality TV is powerful, because even with it not being 100% au naturale, it shows people being people. The flaws and sins. The love and connection. And well, watching other people go through the ebbs and flows is just plain comforting. Whether you're single and ready to mingle or taken, the next time you flip on some good ol' Love Island remember they walked so we could run. Happy dating.