One Thing That Both Eases And Breaks My Heart
Cautionary advice: If you're going to read it, refrain to be judgemental.
Is it true that this haven in which we reside is only motivated by self-interest, or it is my cynical mind speaking? Is it that friends, strangers, neighbors, and even loved ones do things with quid pro quo in mind, or it is that I met some seriously ill people in life? Why is this ubiquitous GIVE and TAKE philosophy valid even in acts of kindness? Why is one taught that what goes around, comes around; which apparently becomes the reason why one is benevolent? Lastly, do people GIVE so they can TAKE?
This turmoil in my head started uncoiling when I first met you. The self-less, considerate, generous YOU! I then became capable to see through the black and white color of human nature. I don't remember us talking about any humans in our first meet, wasn't it aliens and the black hole we pondered about driving in the fancy streets of our city. I can imagine you snickering about that google maps failure which apparently suggested us 9 and 3 quarter wall (No kidding!). Hey, do you recall that dog house... Oh, how can I forget the frightened look on your face when spitz came leaping towards you!
From that very meeting, I knew that we are meant to be, meant to know each other, meant to be together on victories and failures, meant to share comforters, meant to debate about the best food outlet, meant to imagine unimaginable things! But I swear I never meant us to be so close, that someday a line would be drawn which would say THE END. Hypocrite alert?!
I knew the day has come when I started giving you a cold shoulder, ignoring your texts even when I was in the mood to connect also hiding stuff that really mattered. We have parted our ways for about a decade now. Oh boy! it seems like yesterday when you slouched over the couch to watch ZNMD for the 17th time, with the same excitement that Arjun had for skydiving. When I question the boundaries, I realize that it was the right thing that we could do. You had your guy who desired attention, I had my career goals that demanded separation. Was it me or you who addressed the elephant in the room and suggested that we take some time off? I guess definitely you, as it's always you who believe dialogue is better than awkward silence, while the brat I just go about pretending that nothing wrong ever happens with us.
One thing that both eases and breaks my heart is the relationship I had with you. I was at peace opening up to you, taking advice, planning victory parties but I never signed up to the fundamental changes our bond created inside me. You wished more time, I wondered a little more won't do harm... and in that many littles, I never realized that compromises, when burdened, leads to shattered walls. Expectations can be a big-time offender.
A note to future self: Know when to stop! Humans have a very fragile nature, when nurtured they bloom! It's always nice to have someone take good care of yourself. It might not always be about GIVING, be careful not to TAKE too much that one day you can't handle the weight of it, and you just break the shackles so bad, that there is no going back! NEVER, I repeat never change yourself to satisfy the whims and fantasies of others. And never do things that you don't want to do.
It's a happy world outside, step out, meet new people, learn and unlearn!
Yours,
wishing we took care of the first time
Ex-friend
Opinions and Perspectives
This article really hits home. The way they describe that internal struggle between giving and taking in relationships is so relatable
I feel torn about the author's perspective. While self-preservation is important, sometimes meaningful relationships require us to change and grow
The part about the Google Maps failure and 9 3/4 wall made me laugh. Those small moments often become our most precious memories
Anyone else catch the Harry Potter reference? Nice touch mixing it with a real-life story
What strikes me most is how they acknowledge their own role in the relationship's end. It's rare to see such honest self-reflection
The author seems to contradict themselves. They say never change for others, but isn't some level of compromise necessary in any relationship?
That line about expectations being a big-time offender really resonated with me. I've seen so many friendships fall apart because of unmet expectations
I love how they captured those early friendship moments, like watching ZNMD for the 17th time. We all have those special memories
The advice about not taking too much is spot on. I learned this lesson the hard way in my own friendships
I disagree with the notion that all giving comes with expectations. Some people genuinely give without wanting anything in return
The writing style feels so personal, almost like reading someone's diary. Makes you reflect on your own relationships
Interesting how they mention career goals versus relationships. Sometimes we have to make tough choices
I wonder if the author really believes they can't go back. Ten years is a long time, but some friendships are worth rekindling
The part about pretending nothing's wrong hit close to home. I do that too instead of addressing issues
Their description of those first meetings is so vivid. Makes me nostalgic about my own friendship beginnings
Not sure I agree with the 'never change yourself' advice. Sometimes change leads to personal growth
The balance between giving and taking in relationships is tricky. It's not always black and white
I appreciate how they acknowledged that both parties played a role in the friendship's end
The metaphor about nurturing humans like flowers is beautiful. We really do need care to bloom
Anyone else curious about what happened to the other person in this story? Would love to hear their perspective
This resonates with my experience of losing a close friend. Sometimes growth means growing apart
The self-awareness in this piece is refreshing. Not many people can admit their own shortcomings
I'm struck by how they describe friendship as both healing and heartbreaking. It's so true
Sounds like classic overthinking to me. Sometimes we need to just let relationships flow naturally