I Didn't Want It To End, But We Needed It To
Letting you go was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I thought you would always be in my life and when you left I had no idea if I'd ever been able to get over it. The way you shut the door in my face, deadbolted it, and left me out in the cold didn’t surprise me but it left me with one question.
You always wanted what was best for me. The thing is you knew the way you left was going to destroy me, but you did it anyway. So the question that goes back and forth in my mind is, were you finally giving up on me or doing what you thought was best for me? That’s the question that’ll forever go unanswered for me.
When we met little did I know you were going to drown me in your deep waters? Never did I think that trying to love you would feel as if I were constantly being thrown overboard a ship. I didn’t even blame you for it, but I thought maybe you would save me. I grabbed onto your hand thinking you’d pull me out, but you would just let me sink into the abyss every single time.
Our fatal flaw was never knowing how to exist without casualties in a war we were fighting of who could hurt the other more. Both of us fed off the chaos we created, as long we didn’t have to live without each other it didn’t matter the cost. We had convinced each other and everyone else that it was love, but we were fooling them as much as we were ourselves.
If it was love then maybe I wouldn’t have tried so hard to change you and you wouldn’t have left so many breadcrumbs on a path you always knew was leading to nowhere.
My love for you will always exist, but I can’t wait any longer for you to make up your mind. I need my own sanity more than I need you anymore. As much as I want to keep you in my life it’s better to love you from a distance because if I get too close you might burn me again.
At the end of the day, there’s no use in trying to stop someone from leaving or trying to make them love you. You just did not want to be a part of my life anymore. And that hurts. But it’s not anything to get sad about because if we are meant to be in each other’s lives we will be, if not we won’t.
I will always love you, but it’s time for me to move on.
Opinions and Perspectives
This article hits so close to home. I've been through something similar and the raw emotions described are exactly what I felt.
The metaphor about drowning in deep waters really struck me. Sometimes love can feel exactly like that, especially when you're giving everything but getting nothing back.
I disagree with the part about not getting sad. It's perfectly normal to feel devastated when someone chooses to walk away.
The line about breadcrumbs leading nowhere really resonated with me. We often ignore the signs because we're too invested in what we think the relationship could be.
Anyone else feel like they're reading their own story here? The part about mutual destruction in relationships is so real.
I actually think the author is being too kind. If someone deliberately hurts you while claiming to want what's best for you, that's just manipulation.
The writing style is beautiful, but I can't help wondering if staying in such a toxic relationship for so long was worth it.
This reminds me of my last relationship. We kept hurting each other thinking it was love, but it was just dependency.
I find it interesting how we convince ourselves and others that toxic patterns are love. Been there, done that.
The question about whether they were giving up or doing what's best is such a powerful moment of reflection.
Sometimes walking away is the greatest act of love, both for yourself and the other person. I learned this the hard way.
Reading this made me realize I'm currently in this exact situation. I needed this wake-up call.
The imagery of being thrown overboard repeatedly is haunting. It perfectly captures that feeling of emotional abandonment.
Honestly, I think both people in this story sound equally toxic. Sometimes there isn't a clear victim or villain.
The part about loving from a distance really speaks to me. Sometimes that's the only healthy option we have.
I don't understand why people romanticize these kinds of destructive relationships. There's nothing beautiful about mutual harm.
The ending feels unresolved, but I suppose that's how these situations often are in real life.
What strikes me most is how self-aware the writer is about the dysfunction, yet stayed anyway. We've all been there.
Can we talk about how accurately this captures the cycle of toxic relationships? The hope, the pain, the repetition.
I wish more people would realize that love shouldn't feel like drowning.
The way they describe convincing everyone else it was love really hits hard. We all perform for others sometimes.
This piece beautifully captures the complexity of ending a relationship that's both passionate and destructive.
That final line about always loving them but needing to move on is the perfect conclusion. Sometimes love isn't enough.
It's fascinating how we can recognize these patterns in others but struggle to see them in our own relationships.
The war metaphor is spot on. Some relationships feel like constant battles where nobody wins.
I actually disagree with most comments here. Sometimes people just grow apart, it doesn't have to be toxic.
The part about sanity over love really resonates. There comes a point where self-preservation has to win.